He fell into a burning ring of fire. He went down down down and the flames rose higher. And he burned burned burned....in the ring of fire...the ring of fire....

...so does that mean he's in hell? : ( poor johnny.

even with your personification, you were never able to amount to much.

Would you mourn him in a house? Would you mourn him with a mouse? I would mourn him here or there, I would mourn him anywhere. one fish two fish red fish blue fish, whose corpse stinks worst, Seuss corpse stinks first, Seuss passed under grass, Sassy Lasses weep the fastest, when froodle doodle's waddle through your funeral eating noodles, they call this a Froodle Doodle waddle noodle funeral, Sharks blog obits, Bloggers bite the bits of Obits and FREAKIN THIS IS TOO HARD. I give up. You're the King, Seuss. RIP.

thanks anigans again.

Congratulations on passing as a human all these years despite numerous photographs proving you to be an alien mutant. It seems that you died and then your dead body went on tour, it even changed outfits between viewings, and i heard a rumor that they used fishing line to make your corpse lipsync. You are officially the freakiest thing to come out of Cuba, and that's saying a lot considering you're up against Fidel Castro's beard. RIP Celia. That is, if they'd just bury your dead body.

thanks to mr anigans for the suggestion.

Okokokok, I have to be honest. I didn't read Peanuts. I mean, it's not that I didn't like it or anything, it's just that...well.....it wasn't funny. I'm sorry. I feel guilty for even saying that, because you are like a saint in the whole comic world, but um....yeah.
"Hey look Snoopy is sitting on his roof!"
"It was a dark and stormy night"
HAHAHHAHA!......

......Not happening.
BUT!!! I DID however, LOVE LOVE LOVE your cartoons! Hooray for animation! Screw the purists, man, nothing was better than watching Charlie really RUNNING towards that football and falling on his ass! Woo! Poor little round headed kid. The Christmas one is actually my favorite. I had it on a little 12 inch record that I played in my Disney record player. Wah-wah-wahwah-wah-wah....that's grown-up speak for RIP Charles Schultz.....the world misses you....

The first time I heard your beautiful guitar picking and beautiful voice, I was driving down the lone, dark highway coming home from the country late one summer night. I was all alone on the highway that was void of any light or life. A friend of mine had given me your album Pink Moon to listen to for the car ride home, convinced that I would fall in love. And I did. But you were dead. For many years before I was even born. Drugs, they said it was. You died too young and didn't have a chance to see your music go downhill from your best stuff. Your spirit still haunts us through the recent 2004 release of the recovered tracks recorded before your death. They are just as fabulous as the rest of your music. You will always remain glorified in my mind, with those piercing eyes and gentle voice. Your music made me cry that night, on the abandoned highway. All by myself, sitting in a dark car on a dark highway, crying simply because of the sheer beauty in your music. Rest in peace, Nick Drake. I love you.

Guess what. You changed my life. First of all, you had something called a "creature shop." Um, thats the coolest thing I've ever heard (today) and I would give my right elbow for a freakin creature shop!!!!! Second of all, you invented Sesame Street basically. Wtf, do you understand the monumental place in history that brings you? I think it would be safe to assume that without you and your Bert and Ernie and Big Bird and Grover and Kermit, I'd not be here. You showed me the fucking alphabet! And yes, I said fucking but only because you taught me those letters too! And I'll bet when those cameras weren't rollin' on 123 Sesame Street, Oscar cussed like a sailor, am I right? Am I right? Hell yeah! Oh yeah, you did a ton more like The Muppets, which I liked but didn't love, but omg, WTF was the Dark Crystal? That shit scared me so hard. Mike and I watched it in a sleezy motel in Barstow California and I was just as scared of those slow walking scary creatures and even the good people were scary as shit. Yeah, I loved you but I'm not so comfortable with those characters even though I am obsessed slightly with the story. THE SHARD!!! In conclusion, you did tons more but there's no way in hell I'll be able to list it. RIP Jim, won't you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

you died and then Avril wrote a song for you, which wasn't very good, but I suppose it's the thought that counts.

a.k.a. Alli's stupid-almost-ex-husband. Too bad you have seizures and make nice with everyone, cuz you're really pretty much a dick. Yeah maybe you should like check Alli's phone records today, because I might have called her and talked trash about you. Oh and call my house sometime, asking where she is.....cuz she routinely flies up to Washington for a freakin afternoon...

in conclusion, you're not dead, but you're a dumbass.

Okay see, I didn't actually like your music. Actually everytime you came on the radio, I would like freakin dive for the button to get your nasally voice outta my ears. and that "I could fall in love" song?? ANNOYING! Good lord you were soo overplayed! I mean it's sad and all that a deranged fan shot you, but hello, that doesn't mean i want to hear your music MORE! Oh and that movie made about you....the one VH1 plays like once a week....STILL.....yeah um...not a good movie.

But since we are RIP River don't like to beat down on the dead (too much) , I will name your greatest contribution to American society.....at least you gave J Lo's career a leg up. Wait...shoot....now i hate you more.

you were never really living to begin with...
you wrote a song and everybody listened to it, but nobody knew it was your song.
To this day, people still listen to Breakfast At Tiffany's and guess it is some generic band such as Matchbox20 or Barenaked Ladies...
I don't know if you are actually dead because I never really had proof that you were alive. You are simply an illusion of melody to me.

Actually there were 6 stooges. But the only ones that count are the original three! Moe, Larry, and Curly, you guys rocked! I miss your eye pokin, face slappin, fallin down, bubble blowing, hair mussin, paint throwin, head bonking, butt kickin, rollickin good times!!!!!!

i remember slapping my little brother across the face and then when my mom yelled at me, i'd widen my eyes and say "but..but...Moe did it to Larry and it didn't hurt at all! I didn't know, mom!"

oh good times, Stooges. You taught me that violence is funny, hurting people is good, and poking people in the eyes is not dangerous! RIP moe. RIP larry. RIP curly. ooooo-woo-woo-woo-woo!

I guess you were a baseball player or somethin. The only reason I know your name is because there was this radio commercial where people made up songs about you. They would go "Keennn Cam-a-net-eee something something la la" and so I knew there was a Ken Caminiti out there in the world, I just didn't know who you were and what you did. I never actually listened to the whole commercial to find out what you represented either. Maybe deodorant or viagra or something. Anyways RIP Ken Caminiti. Too bad you took steroids and died of a heart attack. Baseball will miss you. I think. You played baseball right?

was it really vasculitis?? or did Ol' Norman finally catch up to you!!!

you claimed in interviews that after a week of shooting that shower scene, you were unable to set foot in a shower again. that would explain why you never really got anymore great roles. you were too stinky.

Oh gosh, where do I start? Cancer took you from us and that sucks! You influenced punk music from the start. Hell, you were part of the very beginnings. All these little angsty shits who claim that Blink 182 is punk, they need a whoopin from the Joe-ster himself. If you were alive, I'd help you to show them what REAL punk is and maybe I'd even help you give them a Teenage Lobotomy and we could pull big faded black tshirts over their heads that said The Ramones on them, like the one I wore in jr. high while I'd sit and journal about boys and skateboards and I'd dream about possibly going to the Rock and Roll High School you sang about. Be well, my friend, you're in good hands up there. RIP Joey, you're totally missed in my crib yo...

RIP Lea de Mae , porn star extraordinaire. At 25, you were much too young and beautiful to die(brain tumor). We'll all miss seeing you get fucked.

Guest Obituary by MIKEY

Once a week we'll feature one of the most recent deaths. This weeks tragic loss was the loss of Panteras own Dimebag Darrell. I don't listen to Pantera, nor do the other contributors to this blog, but we thought he deserved an RIP because 1) he had rad facial hair 2) the word Pantera is hella sweet and 3) because omg, his name is fucking DIMEBAG people. Don't get much cooler than that!




RIP DIMEBAG DARRELL, your facial hair was freakin sweet yo.

modernity swept you up and flushed you down the toilet... (the electric, self-cleaning toilet).

Doooooooooode...I totally love you. You were the sexiest man alive when you danced as a Chippendales dancer on SNL, as Tommy Boy you made me wish I was your lover, and when you were an inspirational speaker living in a van down by the river, I would totally have had your babies. You freakin kicked jive turkey ass my friend. RIP in heaven Chris, cuz Luuuuke, Luuuuke...I am yo fathaaaaah.

This one is honestly hard for me to write. I loved you. LOVED! I hope your psychotic wife who shot you is burning in hell. You made me laugh so hard, and as the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer on SNL, I thought you had just progressed to Godhood. Your voice will echo through the universe as one of the classic comedians of all times. I wish this had been more snarky and sassy, but I honestly miss you. RIP Phil, you rocked my socks.

You were loved by MILLIONS as Earnest in such classics as Earnest In The Army, Earnest Goes To School, Earnest Scared Stupid, Earnest Goes To Jail and as the voice of Slinky Dog in Toy Story and Toy Story 2. You were dashingly handsome, had the grace of a swan and by golly, if you didn't make me wanna name my first born son Vern. You'll be sorely missed. RIP Jim, take it to the house.....