Poor Ken, only recently ditched by Barbie for the less affluent but more anatomically correct Blaine, was recently found hanging in Barbie's Dream Closet. Apparently, after being rebuffed by Malibu Stacy and GI Joe, Ken threw himself into an obsessive relationship with the Pink Care Bear. PCB apparently liked being all fluffy, and after Ken insisted that PCB shave her privates to, "look more like Barbie's", PCB took offense and kicked Ken out into the street. To his great dismay, the street - recently retarred, splashed up onto Ken's face. Being made of plastic, the tar stain would not come out - leaving Ken horribly scarred, without his beloved Pink Corvette, and missing the icy coldness of Barbie's stare. He broke into her Dream House, and found the little white wiry twist-tie of an unattended loaf of Wonder Bread and subsequently hung himself. Unfortunately, forgetting that he was an inanimate object and made of plastic, the hanging did absolutely nothing to him. But, the swinging motion attracted a small chihuahua, who made short order of Ken's lower torso - leaving only his badly stained head and part of his neck as a horrible reminder of what a love gone wrong can do to a man...or even a plastic man. We'll miss you Ken, Godspeed and I hope that plastic recycling offers you a second chance as a vibrator or a nice Tupperware bowl.

Thanks to Buster for this guest obituary! He's one of my favorite fellow bloggers and he rocks my world. Everyone go tell him how damn sexy he is.

i think its gone for good this time.

I was trying to think of something cool to say about you, but all that was really popping into my head was how all the women who are like unhappy with their weight like to point out that Ms Monroe wore a size 12, and was one of the hugest sex symbols ever. however, they often fail to mention that she also had a ridiculously beautiful face and a huge chest. also she was alive before the South Beach diet and Calista Flockhart and Gwyneth Paltrow. so in conclusion, RIP Marilyn. Your legacy is flashing your underpants and singing Happy Birthday. Which are things most people do at age 4, but somehow you managed to continue it on into adulthood and make it look hott. Cheers!